The great funk 

I’ve been in a major funk as of late. I’m trying to get out of it but it is easier said than done. I’m doing the same things I’ve done before and that used to help. Now not even my go to stress relief will ease some of the funk hanging around like fog. 

Normally, I would read, listen to music, take a drive, go to the gym,talk with my friends, or my favorite,play on the Playstation 4. I find myself lost in this maze without a direction to escape.  I crave a simple way out, but feel like it isn’t going to be. I want to be the crazy “normal” me…but how? Cc

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Maybe.

Maybe dreams & happiness are for others, and not for me.

Maybe I’m stuck, and this is what my life is supposed to be like.

Maybe…

Do I not deserve that happily ever after, the kind where I’m needed.. Appreciated… Cared for. The kind that I see in others.

Maybe.. Just maybe.. That’s just not for me.

Feelings, and such

Let’s talk about feelings for a bit…

It’s so true, that you can’t always help who you develop feelings for.  Sometimes, those feelings come out of no where, and often times they shock even us.  Once feelings start to develop, the ‘deal breakers’ end up becoming blurry.  That line of what we feel we deserve and want, becomes blended with what we feel in that moment and we begin to think — well, I can be okay with this or that, because I have feelings for them.

Once these feelings develop, and you start letting that guard down and change your “standards” (for lack of a better word), it can be a dangerous and tricky slope, and often ends in heartbreak.

Since when did this all become okay?  Why should be change our standards, or wants and needed, just to fill a space?  We have to learn to be okay… alone.  We have to learn to have the best relationship with ourselves — relationships with others will fall into place when they are supposed to.

So, I’m learning… and trying… and stumbling forward.  To try to discover exactly “who” I am, and “what” I want.

Or something like that.  I shouldn’t be left alone for reflection for too long. LOL It’s definitely time to go to the gym tomorrow!

 

Well, hello there.

It’s been a little bit since I’ve posted anything… sorry about that.  I got so focused on my workouts, and work, that I let blogging slip aside! Ooops!

So, I had a wonderful weekend.. I was off Friday, Monday, and Tuesday and went to Texas to visit my aunt and uncle. I always have such a wonderful time when I go visit.  I think that my aunt and I could have fun just about anywhere as long as we were together. 🙂

In my new exercise program, which generally is going well — and I can tell it’s working, but I believe between that and sleeping wrong, I have either pulled a muscle in my neck, or sprained something, or pinched something. It hurts SO BAD.  Even muscle relaxers aren’t helping much. Icy Hot is helping so/so — but it literally hurts to hold my head up, or to move it. 😦 Needless to say.. going back to work is going to be difficult tomorrow. Sitting at a desk, looking a paperwork and a computer screen — ouchie.

Anyway, a more ‘meaningful’ post will come soon, I’m sure. Catch you all on the flip side!

 

PS…

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Healthy is the new black.

I’ve always struggled with self-image.  My self-confidence was often wrapped up in the opinions of others.  I’ve had many ups and downs.  With that being said…

Not too long ago, I made a decision.  I decision to take care of myself, first and foremost.  My happiness (emotional and physical) should be a priority.  I decided to make changes and discover “who” I really am.  Sure, this is probably coming about 20 years too late, but they say you are never too old to chase your dreams.

My dreams are to be healthy, and happy. Spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. To love myself first and to nurture those relationships that support my lifestyle changes, and to surround myself with others that only truly want what is best for me.

It’s not been an easy change, and it’s an on-going battle that I’m climbing.  But, I will succeed.  I’m putting myself first, not because I don’t care and love others, but because I deserve to be at the top of my list.  If I don’t love myself, and aren’t happy with myself when I’m all by myself … how can I expect anyone else to be happy with me and love me the way that I deserve?

Eating healthier and exercising is great.  Sure, the physical benefits are going to pay off — but it’s deeper than that.  It gives me mental and emotional growth… and ultimately happiness.

And isn’t that what we are all searching for anyway?

~CS

 

 

book review

I just finished reading “The Human” by Stephanie Erickson. This is book 3 of Children of Wisdom series. I found this whole series impossible to put down. I was intrigued from the start with all of the characters and twists and turns. The concept of the plot is captivating and makes you wonder and think about how it is , or if it could be that way. CC

Bathroom + Etiquette = ?

Okay, this might be a re-post that of a topic that really spoke to me and I posted it on my other blog. (gasps, shocks, horror face – what??? she has another blog!?) — Anyway… today sparked a need to repost it for the sake of… well.. it’s sad that 6 years later — lesson STILL haven’t been learned.

I mean seriously people. So here we go…

Look, I understand the need to have to visit the facilities many times a day. I understand that this is a natural thing, and I get it, really. But, there are some things, that you just shouldn’t do. We are all adults in the workplace, so I find it silly that these things even need to be stated, but apparently they do. So here are a few examples for you.

1. Please, please, PLEASE — do not make phone calls or have phone conversations when you are in the stall next to me. There is no phone call, that can’t wait the 4 minutes it takes you to do your business, wash your hands, and leave. Case in point: I’m at the office, I make my way to the bathroom (because the gallons of water — ok, not gallons, but at least a few glasses… like 2 most likely) have had, have rushed through my body. So, there I am. Comfy in my little stall, with the rest all open and in walks in a co-worker. Ok, no biggie right? Wrong. Not only does she ignore the other 5 stalls and takes up camp in the one right next to me, she is on the phone. Answers the phone and proceeds to have a conversation. Then, I’m trying to decide… do I stop my business? do I keep going? Is it my responsibility to STOP what I’m in there for?

2. Clean up after yourself. Ladies, ladies, ladies. Hover if you have to, place those little sanitary thing down, do what you need to do. But, and I can’t stress this enough. PLEASE. AIM. WELL. It’s a big target, you can do it. And, if by some misfortune your ‘hover’ is off? Then, clean up any sprinkles. Or, even worse… messes. CLEAN THEM UP. You’re an adult, or should be.

3. If you drop paper on the floor. Pick it up. It’s not hard. Pick it up and place it in the trash, or flush it. Simple. Right?

4. Mother nature sucks. I’m the first to agree with that. But ladies, keep Mother Nature in check. Please. I won’t go into details here, you know the issue, you know what you should do.

5. WASH YOUR HANDS. No matter your methods of hovering, sitting, drying, wiping, and so forth. Your hands need to be washed. Let’s keep everyone healthy, shall we hmmm?

This concludes this special PSA, brought to you from me. Don’t make me post a sign. Because I have pretty fonts, and decorative swirls and such that I can use, and I’ll do it!

Thank you. :)

xoxo
~CS

 

DIVISION

I’m frustrated beyond words right now.. I’ve been waiting forever for this patch to come out , only to realize that the stupid power flashed during the night , killing my downloading of the said patch. Talk about frustrating. Anyways , with that being said… how many of you have actually started running the new incursion, running in the dz and playing the new S&D missions??? What’s the opinion of it as of now?? So far, with me being an outsider looking it, it’s just made me realize that men actually have periods. Yes, I realize that Aunt Flow will not actually visit a man, but wow, get a bunch of guys together and your bitch cycles sync. I feel like I should show up with chocolate =P  Never fear, I will soon be getting killed and bitching right along with you. I’m jealous now. I’m gonna go cry and find a way to curse mother nature for making it possible for me to hear all the man periods going off on the game.  CC

 

creating crazy

This is it.. I’ve got my feet on the ground and getting ready to make the leap. I’m CC. I’m a 40ish uncensored female, ready to make my debut in the blogging world. I should come with a disclaimer, but what fun would that be? I’m not often grammatically correct, so my apologies before hand. I am looking forward to blogging about an array of topics …. from books, movies, camping, singing, music, video games (yep i’m a gamer chick) . Along with my best friend, CS, we should be able to keep you entertained or at least pissed off.

First.

Welcome to Capturing CraZy!!

Hello! I’m glad you’re here.  I’m CS, a 40something girl (/woman) who dreams big.  I’m not afraid of falling down, it’s falling up that  scares me.

This blog is a journey and an adventure with my best friend – CC. You are likely to find posts about everything.. From music, movies, and games… To subjects and opinions that might need a disclaimer or two.

It’s about to begin…. hang on for the ride!